Insecure???

It's about 4 am and I am woken up with lots of thoughts traveling through my brain. I was thinking about all the Facebook friends I have deleted that dated back all the way to high school. Then that made me think of High School and who I use to be back in the day. I was thinking about the very first day of High School when my sister was a Senior and I was a Freshmen and I was about 5'0 tall with my huge backpack and scarred out of my mind as I walked in the doors with my sister and her friends. I remember my sister telling me that on the first day her friend chased me down the hall because she saw me going the wrong way in the hallway because I was showing my friend where her class was.

I then was thinking of that insecure, scarred freshmen and who I use to be. I remember I was very quite in class and in general I was shy. I was one of those people that was shy around guys and well didn't know how to talk to them. I remember I talked to a guy in the hallway going to math class and I automatically thought they were my friend or then I started to think I liked them.. OH goofy me!

Now it is 7 years later and I am the complete opposite of who I use to be. Thanks to college and finally embracing who I was I broke out of my shyness. What I mean by this is,  I actually have guy friends! I use to think that was ever gonna happen.  I went on dating sites and met guys. FYI-  I would never recommend people to go to the free dating site where I met Billy Bob( his named changed).
Well, I became this persons friend and one day we were discussing who we were, and at that point in time I couldn't tell him who I was except all the physically aspects like I am a 5'0 girl that loves to box.
 He decided to point out things about me. He said that I was not outgoing and that because of not being outgoing( in his eyes) I was insecure! That because I do not take initiative in things it shows I am insecure!  For a long time I took those words to heart well because I respected this Billy Bob. I remember I then started to think how I acted towards people and started to doubt my outgoing personality I thought I had.. I remember on a vacation,  the whole time I was preoccupied on how I was coming across to people. I remember thinking, "I am showing people I am insecure because I am not sitting tall and my head held high. I am giving off a vibe?"

Now that  I think about it, there is always going to be parts of ever single person that they think is insecure.. For me that would have to be the way my calfs look.  I am not ashamed of admitting that. I am embracing my flaws and realizing well that's me. That's the way I LOOK! It also makes me think that does it really depend if you are OUTGOING OR BEING....

(loud)

does that make you more secure person???

TO BE honest, I thought for a long time I had to become more outgoing to show I am not insecure but that is not true. I like HOW I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I think there are always parts you can improve on yourself, for example getting in shape,which I am doing :). Or being aware of your tone of voice and how you talk to people. You have to except who you are and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and tell yourself it only matters what you think of yourself NO ONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!